Kill

Bubbles of blue moon form
An impressionist conundrum
September 22, 1976
A day to remember

“Can you take us to the Confucius Temple on Wednesday?” asked T.
“Sure, I’d love to…”
The used-to-be landmark of Taipei, Grand Hotel, stands as a giant ancient temple on the lush green hill, overlooking the northern part of Taipei basin. Tourists love taking photos at the façade of this magnificent edifice.

“We sort of idolized many saints or heroes in Chinese culture,” I explained.
“So, that is why there are many gods in your religious beliefs or philosophy?” asked R. as he contemplated the grandeur of various statues…The smoke of incense was everywhere in the temple, leaving a trace of serenity on a sunny afternoon one rarely found in this city.

Although I had to show these northern Americans around, my mind was on something else. Racing like an express train, my soul has been turned inside out, exposed to the bright sunshine outside the MRT. I took a glimpse at the corner of my shades and realized there was a reflection of D, an image I would never forget…

“When you feel alone and the world has turned its back on you…” the radio was singing as I looked up at the ceiling. So, this is what happens when loving someone. But I prefer what it says in “Rule of Four”, “you’d better love something that can love you back.” However, I’m not a quitter really, never was and will never be. Okay, perhaps I need to have a brain lobectomy, so I won’t be suffering so much. Yet, is that really going to help? If someone’s heart is already broken and his soul hunted, will all the feelings be gone?

Trying very hard to reach the back of my head, I slowly closed my eyes, pulling out an ice pick, and moved my elbow inch by inch until the top of the pick almost touched my skull where my frontal lobe lay underneath…


To be continued…