Spring Light
Snowflakes twirled
In a repetition
The moment arrived
Clandestinely
Yellow daffodils
Your tenderness
Shone in the spring light
Chanting the end of wintry white
Another circle of life
Awaited
Thousands of passersby
Written by JerSki BjorkSen
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
Chapter 8
They said
Time could heal
They said
Memory would fail
My soul was once caged
My heart never changed
Once I got back to Taipei, I immediately wrote a letter and sent it out to the indicated address. Two weeks later I found a letter quietly, lying on my desk when I returned from the evening school class. I was thrilled to see the mail because I recognized the neat hand writing right away.
In my letter to Yang Dong-Yu, I asked him whether he still dreamt of being a pilot apart from many other questions I had for me. In his mail, he told me he was studying very hard and hoping to pass the college entrance exam. Meanwhile, he was working part-time at a local café. He actually lived by himself, only went back to visit his grandma once in a while. I was happy for him but at the same time wondered how he actually pulled himself together to overcome the difficulties.
I promised to pay him a visit once we finished the college entrance exam the following summer. Although school life got more and more hectic, my good friend never left my mind. We communicated via letters several times that year. I even called him twice on the phone.
Then July came surreptitiously. Thousands of high school graduates were anxious to get the college entrance exam done. I was no exception. The first day of the exam, I had Chinese, English, and math tests. The next day I had chemistry, physics, and science tests. The exams seemed to go well; and I was relieved afterward. The scorching sun was beaming fervently outside with the unbearable humidity in the air. Beads of sweat fell down like a facet on each passerby on the street. Yet a chill came up from my spine, giving me unexplainable creeps. I didn’t know what that was and decided to brush it aside.
It was a usual hot summer morning. I rode the express train down to the south and then switched to a bus. It literally took me 7 hours to get to Ping-Tung. When I arrived at the bus station, Yang Dong-Yu was there already. He looked so tanned and tall. I would say at least 185 cm. The smile on his face brought me back some old memory. I waved at him and greeted with a firm handshake. That night he showed me around at the night market. We ate steak with noodles on a steaming hot iron plate and some taro pearl milk tea.
The house Yang Dong-Yu was staying located in a quiet alley. The neighbourhood was very clean; only occasionally one or two stray dogs would show up and scavenge for food.
Later in the night, Yang Dong-Yu and I lay down and started to chat. He gave me his bed and slept on the floor. I was embarrassed but I knew that was how we treated a good friend in our culture. After all we were very close friends. The first question I had for him was whether he was happy. I knew it was a silly question but I couldn’t help. He told me with his eyes closed, “I have never been happier than now. I once thought my life was a curse but guess what? If God or Buddha wants me to be in this world, there must be a reason. So, I am going to live for myself, not anyone else.”
The three-day visit was really a blast. We went to the beach and swam in the ocean. The southern part of Formosa was truly breathtaking. I loved the smell of the sea and fresh seafood. By the time, I was about to go home, I felt that chill coming up from my spine again. This time it struck me for a few minutes.
Time could heal
They said
Memory would fail
My soul was once caged
My heart never changed
Once I got back to Taipei, I immediately wrote a letter and sent it out to the indicated address. Two weeks later I found a letter quietly, lying on my desk when I returned from the evening school class. I was thrilled to see the mail because I recognized the neat hand writing right away.
In my letter to Yang Dong-Yu, I asked him whether he still dreamt of being a pilot apart from many other questions I had for me. In his mail, he told me he was studying very hard and hoping to pass the college entrance exam. Meanwhile, he was working part-time at a local café. He actually lived by himself, only went back to visit his grandma once in a while. I was happy for him but at the same time wondered how he actually pulled himself together to overcome the difficulties.
I promised to pay him a visit once we finished the college entrance exam the following summer. Although school life got more and more hectic, my good friend never left my mind. We communicated via letters several times that year. I even called him twice on the phone.
Then July came surreptitiously. Thousands of high school graduates were anxious to get the college entrance exam done. I was no exception. The first day of the exam, I had Chinese, English, and math tests. The next day I had chemistry, physics, and science tests. The exams seemed to go well; and I was relieved afterward. The scorching sun was beaming fervently outside with the unbearable humidity in the air. Beads of sweat fell down like a facet on each passerby on the street. Yet a chill came up from my spine, giving me unexplainable creeps. I didn’t know what that was and decided to brush it aside.
It was a usual hot summer morning. I rode the express train down to the south and then switched to a bus. It literally took me 7 hours to get to Ping-Tung. When I arrived at the bus station, Yang Dong-Yu was there already. He looked so tanned and tall. I would say at least 185 cm. The smile on his face brought me back some old memory. I waved at him and greeted with a firm handshake. That night he showed me around at the night market. We ate steak with noodles on a steaming hot iron plate and some taro pearl milk tea.
The house Yang Dong-Yu was staying located in a quiet alley. The neighbourhood was very clean; only occasionally one or two stray dogs would show up and scavenge for food.
Later in the night, Yang Dong-Yu and I lay down and started to chat. He gave me his bed and slept on the floor. I was embarrassed but I knew that was how we treated a good friend in our culture. After all we were very close friends. The first question I had for him was whether he was happy. I knew it was a silly question but I couldn’t help. He told me with his eyes closed, “I have never been happier than now. I once thought my life was a curse but guess what? If God or Buddha wants me to be in this world, there must be a reason. So, I am going to live for myself, not anyone else.”
The three-day visit was really a blast. We went to the beach and swam in the ocean. The southern part of Formosa was truly breathtaking. I loved the smell of the sea and fresh seafood. By the time, I was about to go home, I felt that chill coming up from my spine again. This time it struck me for a few minutes.
Chapter 7
If I could
I would turn back
If I could
I would run away
Every story has its end
But yours never had
The minute I got the brown envelop, my whole body started to shake like I was about to jump off a steep cliff. I recognized Yang Dong-Yu’s neat handwriting on the envelope although the ink had faded to almost a blur. The old lady smiled at me and said I could stay a little longer at her house if I wanted. But I just thanked her and walked out briskly.
I came to the front yard of our old house, sitting on the bamboo bench made by grandpa decades ago. Gingerly I ripped off the top of the envelope and pulled out six pages of paper. The letter was written in calligraphy. I was always amazed by how beautiful Yang Dong-Yu’s calligraphy was when we were in elementary school. He won so many prizes in competitions. I took a deep breath before I started reading.
“Huang Chih-Hao, I’m sorry I never replied your letters and cards; and I am sure by the time you received this envelope time had passed by at least three or four years…” I continued to read and many of my questions began to be answered. After I moved to Taipei, Yang Dong-Yu attended the local junior high and also was forced by his father to work at the breakfast shop. He had to get up at 4 o’clock and get ready for work and school. He said he was very pleased to receive my letters and hand-made cards. The reason he didn’t reply to me was that his heart ached so much and every time he penned down something he tore it apart afterwards. Then he went on his story as:
“Do you recall the time I tried to run away and hid at the tree hut we built in the woods? That was the very first time I attempted to escape because life was so hard to deal with. I’m going to tell you my deepest and saddest secret. I am a bastard, a pathetic and never-should-be-born weirdo. My real mother was actually my father’s sister. I didn’t know that until I was six. Because my grandmother only had two children, she spoiled them very much. My dad fell in love with his sister when he was in high school. One night he sneaked into his sister’s room and raped her. My grandmother found out but didn’t do anything. Of course my mother was devastated and wanted to die. But my grandma threatened her with the whole family honour thing and her own life too. Certainly that was a scandalous and ugly domestic affair no one would want to divulge. So the secret was kept for many years. Then one day my father’s sister got pregnant and that’s how I came to this earth. Not long after I was born, my mother died of haemophilia. Can you imagine that? My father was married at the time and Hui-Ching was already two years old. That’s why Hui-Ching’s mother left my father. My grandma really liked me a lot because she said she could see her daughter’s eyes in mine. I had a fond memory in Ping-Tung until we moved to Taitung. The night you and teacher escorted me home was the beginning of my worst nightmare. As you know my father was alcoholic and his temper was horrible, I was constantly under his curse. Every night he would hit me with the rattan stick and called my names, saying how humiliating I was to him. Then he lost his control and took me to his room and forced me to touch his private part and even demanded me to give him an oral job. I was scared and didn’t want to upset him, so I obeyed what he said. Gees, what did I know? I was only 10 years old. The worst was yet to come. In the following years, he basically abused me every night. Sometimes it hurt so much that I couldn’t even walk and my behind was in pain all the time…” My tears just rolled down uncontrollably. I had no idea that was my good friend’s life. I couldn’t say I understood what he had been through. Only those who have been abused could really understand the pain, I guessed.
Yang Dong-Yu went on telling the miserable days he had. Eventually he escaped the hell when his grandma came to Taitung for a visit one year during Chinese New Year holidays. “I guess I would never be the same child, right? Many a time, I wanted to take my own life but I thought of my real mother’s death and Hui-Ching and Hui-Ming and my dear grandma. At times I hated my grandma for her incapability to prevent such a tragedy from happening in the Yang family. But I didn’t choose to come to this world this way. You know I love reading. I knew I could ask for help but I was afraid to be the one who stigmatize the entire family. Life is too short; and I don’t want to end like this…”
In the end, he told me how much he loved my cards and the English poems I wrote. I found an address enclosed in the letter. I held back my tears and gave a last look at our childhood street, playground right next to the Catholic monastery, and tugged the envelope in my jacket. I was determined to find Yang Dong-Yu’s whereabouts as soon as I returned to Taipei.
I would turn back
If I could
I would run away
Every story has its end
But yours never had
The minute I got the brown envelop, my whole body started to shake like I was about to jump off a steep cliff. I recognized Yang Dong-Yu’s neat handwriting on the envelope although the ink had faded to almost a blur. The old lady smiled at me and said I could stay a little longer at her house if I wanted. But I just thanked her and walked out briskly.
I came to the front yard of our old house, sitting on the bamboo bench made by grandpa decades ago. Gingerly I ripped off the top of the envelope and pulled out six pages of paper. The letter was written in calligraphy. I was always amazed by how beautiful Yang Dong-Yu’s calligraphy was when we were in elementary school. He won so many prizes in competitions. I took a deep breath before I started reading.
“Huang Chih-Hao, I’m sorry I never replied your letters and cards; and I am sure by the time you received this envelope time had passed by at least three or four years…” I continued to read and many of my questions began to be answered. After I moved to Taipei, Yang Dong-Yu attended the local junior high and also was forced by his father to work at the breakfast shop. He had to get up at 4 o’clock and get ready for work and school. He said he was very pleased to receive my letters and hand-made cards. The reason he didn’t reply to me was that his heart ached so much and every time he penned down something he tore it apart afterwards. Then he went on his story as:
“Do you recall the time I tried to run away and hid at the tree hut we built in the woods? That was the very first time I attempted to escape because life was so hard to deal with. I’m going to tell you my deepest and saddest secret. I am a bastard, a pathetic and never-should-be-born weirdo. My real mother was actually my father’s sister. I didn’t know that until I was six. Because my grandmother only had two children, she spoiled them very much. My dad fell in love with his sister when he was in high school. One night he sneaked into his sister’s room and raped her. My grandmother found out but didn’t do anything. Of course my mother was devastated and wanted to die. But my grandma threatened her with the whole family honour thing and her own life too. Certainly that was a scandalous and ugly domestic affair no one would want to divulge. So the secret was kept for many years. Then one day my father’s sister got pregnant and that’s how I came to this earth. Not long after I was born, my mother died of haemophilia. Can you imagine that? My father was married at the time and Hui-Ching was already two years old. That’s why Hui-Ching’s mother left my father. My grandma really liked me a lot because she said she could see her daughter’s eyes in mine. I had a fond memory in Ping-Tung until we moved to Taitung. The night you and teacher escorted me home was the beginning of my worst nightmare. As you know my father was alcoholic and his temper was horrible, I was constantly under his curse. Every night he would hit me with the rattan stick and called my names, saying how humiliating I was to him. Then he lost his control and took me to his room and forced me to touch his private part and even demanded me to give him an oral job. I was scared and didn’t want to upset him, so I obeyed what he said. Gees, what did I know? I was only 10 years old. The worst was yet to come. In the following years, he basically abused me every night. Sometimes it hurt so much that I couldn’t even walk and my behind was in pain all the time…” My tears just rolled down uncontrollably. I had no idea that was my good friend’s life. I couldn’t say I understood what he had been through. Only those who have been abused could really understand the pain, I guessed.
Yang Dong-Yu went on telling the miserable days he had. Eventually he escaped the hell when his grandma came to Taitung for a visit one year during Chinese New Year holidays. “I guess I would never be the same child, right? Many a time, I wanted to take my own life but I thought of my real mother’s death and Hui-Ching and Hui-Ming and my dear grandma. At times I hated my grandma for her incapability to prevent such a tragedy from happening in the Yang family. But I didn’t choose to come to this world this way. You know I love reading. I knew I could ask for help but I was afraid to be the one who stigmatize the entire family. Life is too short; and I don’t want to end like this…”
In the end, he told me how much he loved my cards and the English poems I wrote. I found an address enclosed in the letter. I held back my tears and gave a last look at our childhood street, playground right next to the Catholic monastery, and tugged the envelope in my jacket. I was determined to find Yang Dong-Yu’s whereabouts as soon as I returned to Taipei.
Chapter 6
Separate ways
It might lead
Different worlds
We might have
Friendship
Should never be
Erased
I spent the following two months in Taipei with grandma and aunt Yuan. I enjoyed ice cream and shaved ice sold by the shop downstairs. The water park was the high light of my summer vacation. I just loved the thrill plunging into cold water. The crowd was not too bad, mainly children around my age. I was anxious to see the new school I would be attending in the autumn. The old school in Taitung and teacher’s face seemed to fade after the two-month’s time. Yet I often thought about what Yang Dong-Yu was doing and whether he was fine.
Right before the New Year, I sent a card, made by myself, to Yang Dong-Yu and waited impatiently for his reply. One week, two weeks and a month had passed. I didn’t get anything back. I thought about calling him but dropped the idea, fearing that it would be his father answering the call. As school life went on, I was busy with all kinds of activities in this big city. The passion about language grew little by little in me. Eventually I was ‘hooked’! I would spend hours and hours reading English books and pretending I was living in the United States. But English was not my only passion. I also loved Judo and a secret hobby-reading cooking books and writing up my own recipes.
After junior high, I went to another school in Taipei. My family still went back to Taitung once a year. But the few times I was there, I never saw Yang Dong-Yu. Later I realized he returned to Ping-Tung to live with his grandma. However, Yang Yu-Fong kept living in Taitung and seemed to drink more and more. As for Yang Hui-Ching and Yang Hui-Ming, they were forced to drop out of school after junior high. I heard they worked in a pineapple factory, trying to support the family. I never saw them when I visited our old house.
The summer vacation of my second year in high school, I went back for a visit again. The banyan trees looked the same, even the azalea bushes were still there. But the friends I used to have were nowhere to be found. As I walked around the neighbourhood, I noticed an old lady in ragged clothes. She looked familiar to me but I couldn’t make out who she was. When she saw me, she called out my name, “Ai-ya-ya, Huang Chih-Hao! It’s you! My god, look at you, a totally different person now! So tall and very strong too!” I was blushed by her comment. Then I suddenly remembered she was the breakfast shop owner. But why did she look so ‘poor’? After a brief exchange of words, I found out she wasn’t poor, she just didn’t care after her two sons died in a fire. She said money was useless; it couldn’t buy her sons back.
I was quite saddened to hear her story; and as I was about to say good-bye to her, she held my right hand and said, “I have something for you. It’s been at my house for 4 years. It’s a brown envelop left by Yang Dong-Yu. Do you still remember him? He used to work for me, helping to set up the breakfast shop in the morning before he went to school…” I was surprised to learn that Yang Dong-Yu had left something for me. Why didn’t he just send it to me? Why did he leave it to the old lady not someone in my family? All of sudden I had many unanswered questions.
It might lead
Different worlds
We might have
Friendship
Should never be
Erased
I spent the following two months in Taipei with grandma and aunt Yuan. I enjoyed ice cream and shaved ice sold by the shop downstairs. The water park was the high light of my summer vacation. I just loved the thrill plunging into cold water. The crowd was not too bad, mainly children around my age. I was anxious to see the new school I would be attending in the autumn. The old school in Taitung and teacher’s face seemed to fade after the two-month’s time. Yet I often thought about what Yang Dong-Yu was doing and whether he was fine.
Right before the New Year, I sent a card, made by myself, to Yang Dong-Yu and waited impatiently for his reply. One week, two weeks and a month had passed. I didn’t get anything back. I thought about calling him but dropped the idea, fearing that it would be his father answering the call. As school life went on, I was busy with all kinds of activities in this big city. The passion about language grew little by little in me. Eventually I was ‘hooked’! I would spend hours and hours reading English books and pretending I was living in the United States. But English was not my only passion. I also loved Judo and a secret hobby-reading cooking books and writing up my own recipes.
After junior high, I went to another school in Taipei. My family still went back to Taitung once a year. But the few times I was there, I never saw Yang Dong-Yu. Later I realized he returned to Ping-Tung to live with his grandma. However, Yang Yu-Fong kept living in Taitung and seemed to drink more and more. As for Yang Hui-Ching and Yang Hui-Ming, they were forced to drop out of school after junior high. I heard they worked in a pineapple factory, trying to support the family. I never saw them when I visited our old house.
The summer vacation of my second year in high school, I went back for a visit again. The banyan trees looked the same, even the azalea bushes were still there. But the friends I used to have were nowhere to be found. As I walked around the neighbourhood, I noticed an old lady in ragged clothes. She looked familiar to me but I couldn’t make out who she was. When she saw me, she called out my name, “Ai-ya-ya, Huang Chih-Hao! It’s you! My god, look at you, a totally different person now! So tall and very strong too!” I was blushed by her comment. Then I suddenly remembered she was the breakfast shop owner. But why did she look so ‘poor’? After a brief exchange of words, I found out she wasn’t poor, she just didn’t care after her two sons died in a fire. She said money was useless; it couldn’t buy her sons back.
I was quite saddened to hear her story; and as I was about to say good-bye to her, she held my right hand and said, “I have something for you. It’s been at my house for 4 years. It’s a brown envelop left by Yang Dong-Yu. Do you still remember him? He used to work for me, helping to set up the breakfast shop in the morning before he went to school…” I was surprised to learn that Yang Dong-Yu had left something for me. Why didn’t he just send it to me? Why did he leave it to the old lady not someone in my family? All of sudden I had many unanswered questions.
Chapter 5
Cottonwood flowers
Dabbed the nostalgia
On my journey
The face of Mount Peace
A dace in the wind
Who has stolen
Your naivety
The day of our graduation fell on a Saturday. Parents and relatives were invited to join the ceremony and the open house planned by the school. All the graduates sat in the front row and the rest of the school in the back. The right side of the auditorium was reserved for VIPs. Everyone wore a red flower on his or her chest. Everywhere you went you bumped into flowers and banners which were used to decorate the entire campus. It was an important day for us, the sixth graders. When the principal introduced the best student of the year, a thunder of applause roared across the whole auditorium. Then Yang Dong-Yu stood up and walked straight up to the podium. He first bowed to the principal and then the other teachers sitting next to him.
“Today is our big day, an honourable moment we shall never forget. Education is the door not only to knowledge but also morality and values, which make us different from other spices…” Every one was listening attentively and at the same time amazed how a speech like that could be delivered by this brilliant 12-year-old. Of course the speech was polished by our teacher but I heard Yang Dong-Yu basically wrote the talk himself. He went on talking about his dream, saying that he wanted to be a pilot when he grew up. He thanked his father for the opportunity he had to go to school. Of course Yang Yu-Fong was not at the ceremony; only Yang Hui-Ching was there.
“How could he still thank his father after all what he has done to him?” asked I inconceivably in my little mind. “Did he lose his mind or what? Was he being too naïve or completely insane?” as I ruminated over his words. I must ask him I told myself. After the ceremony, I ran to Yang Dong-Yu, telling him I needed to talk to him. He grinned at me and said ok. “Why did you still thank your father after what he did to you and your sisters?” asked I bluntly. “What did he do? What did you know? No matter what, he is STILL my father! Do you understand? Without him, there would never be US, me and my siblings!” retorted he. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to judge but I thought…” “You thought what? You have no right to criticize my father. Perhaps you meant well but please stay out of this,” getting more impatiently as he spurted out these sentences. “I just hope you are happy and safe,” said I with a heavy sigh.
My heart sank to the bottom of the Pacific as I walked home that day. I thought the sky had also turned its back to me; gray colour was filled in every object reflected on my irises. I was trying to show my concern. Was it too much? I recalled an old saying in Chinese: Only mind the snow in front of your door, don’t even bother the frost on the roof of others. Wasn’t that selfishness? Wasn’t that what made us so cruel and lack of altruism in society? Perhaps I was the only person who was too naïve? I wanted to cry but I did not. Instead, I pulled out the English textbook for the junior high and started to learn the alphabets…
Dabbed the nostalgia
On my journey
The face of Mount Peace
A dace in the wind
Who has stolen
Your naivety
The day of our graduation fell on a Saturday. Parents and relatives were invited to join the ceremony and the open house planned by the school. All the graduates sat in the front row and the rest of the school in the back. The right side of the auditorium was reserved for VIPs. Everyone wore a red flower on his or her chest. Everywhere you went you bumped into flowers and banners which were used to decorate the entire campus. It was an important day for us, the sixth graders. When the principal introduced the best student of the year, a thunder of applause roared across the whole auditorium. Then Yang Dong-Yu stood up and walked straight up to the podium. He first bowed to the principal and then the other teachers sitting next to him.
“Today is our big day, an honourable moment we shall never forget. Education is the door not only to knowledge but also morality and values, which make us different from other spices…” Every one was listening attentively and at the same time amazed how a speech like that could be delivered by this brilliant 12-year-old. Of course the speech was polished by our teacher but I heard Yang Dong-Yu basically wrote the talk himself. He went on talking about his dream, saying that he wanted to be a pilot when he grew up. He thanked his father for the opportunity he had to go to school. Of course Yang Yu-Fong was not at the ceremony; only Yang Hui-Ching was there.
“How could he still thank his father after all what he has done to him?” asked I inconceivably in my little mind. “Did he lose his mind or what? Was he being too naïve or completely insane?” as I ruminated over his words. I must ask him I told myself. After the ceremony, I ran to Yang Dong-Yu, telling him I needed to talk to him. He grinned at me and said ok. “Why did you still thank your father after what he did to you and your sisters?” asked I bluntly. “What did he do? What did you know? No matter what, he is STILL my father! Do you understand? Without him, there would never be US, me and my siblings!” retorted he. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to judge but I thought…” “You thought what? You have no right to criticize my father. Perhaps you meant well but please stay out of this,” getting more impatiently as he spurted out these sentences. “I just hope you are happy and safe,” said I with a heavy sigh.
My heart sank to the bottom of the Pacific as I walked home that day. I thought the sky had also turned its back to me; gray colour was filled in every object reflected on my irises. I was trying to show my concern. Was it too much? I recalled an old saying in Chinese: Only mind the snow in front of your door, don’t even bother the frost on the roof of others. Wasn’t that selfishness? Wasn’t that what made us so cruel and lack of altruism in society? Perhaps I was the only person who was too naïve? I wanted to cry but I did not. Instead, I pulled out the English textbook for the junior high and started to learn the alphabets…
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
Chapter 4
Blue eyes
Reflect the colour
Of skies
Rain drops
Carry my burden
Falling into the Pacific
Strength is draining
Mind is fighting
I’m no longer the same child
“Where do you think he would go?” asked the teacher. “ I don’t know. It’s dark already. I hope he is okay,” replied I. Then my head was spinning and mind racing in hopes to find any possibility where Yang Dong-Yu might be. Suddenly a thought popped up. I told the teacher we usually went to the “Hunting Woods” on Wednesday afternoon. There was a tree hut we built a while back. Teacher and I then urgently took off. We rode our bikes with a flashlight attached to the front. The balmy weather with a bit of cool breeze made the evening actually quite pleasant but I had no mood to enjoy all of this. All I wanted to know was where Yang Dong-Yu was!
By the time we arrived at the tree hut. A dim light was flickering; and I knew it was Yang Dong-Yu. “Oh, thank God you’re here!” cried out the teacher. “How did you know I’m here?” “It’s me who told the teacher. We were very worried about you because you didn’t go to school,” responded I. Strangely enough, I didn’t see any sadness on Yang Dong-Yu’s face. He was there like that was his room. On the way home, three of us didn’t say a word. Teacher kept peddling his bike until we arrived Yang Dong-Yu’s house. That night Yang Yu-Fong was totally drunk and fell asleep on the couch. Teacher and I said good-bye to Yang Dong-Yu and his sisters. Then we left quietly.
“How dare you! Running away from home! You think your ‘wings’ are strong enough, huh?” as Yang Yu-Fong questioned Yang Dong –Yu harshly the next morning. Yang Dong-Yu just stood there, listening to his father because he knew if he said anything back he would get beaten and kicking and slapping. “Don’t you ever run away again or I will hang you up high and whip you to death!” storming out the living room Yang Yu-Fong after leaving these horrific words. Yang Dong-Yu was trembling but he told himself everything would be all right. He walked out to the front yard, gazing at the blue sky. There were some pigeons flying over the trees and an aeroplane on the other side of the white cloud. He pictured himself flying that aeroplane, going to various exotic foreign lands…
After that running-away event, Yang Dong-Yu never came to play with us on Wednesday. I sometimes rode my bike, passing their house to check if he would be in the front yard; but I never spotted him. At school, he withdrew into his own little world, drawing pictures, all kinds of jets and aeroplanes. I tried to invite him over to our house; yet all he said was his father would not allow him to play…
Reflect the colour
Of skies
Rain drops
Carry my burden
Falling into the Pacific
Strength is draining
Mind is fighting
I’m no longer the same child
“Where do you think he would go?” asked the teacher. “ I don’t know. It’s dark already. I hope he is okay,” replied I. Then my head was spinning and mind racing in hopes to find any possibility where Yang Dong-Yu might be. Suddenly a thought popped up. I told the teacher we usually went to the “Hunting Woods” on Wednesday afternoon. There was a tree hut we built a while back. Teacher and I then urgently took off. We rode our bikes with a flashlight attached to the front. The balmy weather with a bit of cool breeze made the evening actually quite pleasant but I had no mood to enjoy all of this. All I wanted to know was where Yang Dong-Yu was!
By the time we arrived at the tree hut. A dim light was flickering; and I knew it was Yang Dong-Yu. “Oh, thank God you’re here!” cried out the teacher. “How did you know I’m here?” “It’s me who told the teacher. We were very worried about you because you didn’t go to school,” responded I. Strangely enough, I didn’t see any sadness on Yang Dong-Yu’s face. He was there like that was his room. On the way home, three of us didn’t say a word. Teacher kept peddling his bike until we arrived Yang Dong-Yu’s house. That night Yang Yu-Fong was totally drunk and fell asleep on the couch. Teacher and I said good-bye to Yang Dong-Yu and his sisters. Then we left quietly.
“How dare you! Running away from home! You think your ‘wings’ are strong enough, huh?” as Yang Yu-Fong questioned Yang Dong –Yu harshly the next morning. Yang Dong-Yu just stood there, listening to his father because he knew if he said anything back he would get beaten and kicking and slapping. “Don’t you ever run away again or I will hang you up high and whip you to death!” storming out the living room Yang Yu-Fong after leaving these horrific words. Yang Dong-Yu was trembling but he told himself everything would be all right. He walked out to the front yard, gazing at the blue sky. There were some pigeons flying over the trees and an aeroplane on the other side of the white cloud. He pictured himself flying that aeroplane, going to various exotic foreign lands…
After that running-away event, Yang Dong-Yu never came to play with us on Wednesday. I sometimes rode my bike, passing their house to check if he would be in the front yard; but I never spotted him. At school, he withdrew into his own little world, drawing pictures, all kinds of jets and aeroplanes. I tried to invite him over to our house; yet all he said was his father would not allow him to play…
Chapter 3
In light emerges hope
In darkness hides
A ferocious wolf
Dialogue
Pierces through
The wall of memory
Leaving a scar
Of the haunting past
Elementary school life was full of adventures because every Wednesday afternoon we didn’t have school at all. After finishing homework, Yang Dong-Yu and I would ‘summoned’ other buddies to embark upon the forbidden forest nearby, a place we called “Hunting Woods”.
The early autumn in the southern part of Formosa was still very warm. Along the “Monkey River” stood an array of farm houses. Almost each one of them was surrounded by two or three ponds in which many fish were fighting to get fresh air on the hot days. Reeds were everywhere on the small trek winding through the “Hunting Woods”. We loved to explore the unknown territory and build fire to grill sweet potatoes. Sometimes we were lucky to find watermelons in the open field and delicious wild berries in the bushes. The most exciting part would be water fight in the natural swimming pond formed after typhoons.
“Tell us what you used to do in Ping-Tung, Yang Dong-Yu!” said Lin Yi-Yi. “Oh, the usual things, playing baseball, going swimming, jumping rope and playing ping-pong, but I have never played like this in the woods, so this is really fun!” replied Yang Dong-Yu. As we were about to jump into the pond and catch some tadpoles, Lin Yi-Yi shouted “Ahhh, what is that on your back?” pointing at Yang Dong-Yu as he took off his T-shirt. “You look like a backbeater in the yearly Taoist parade! What happened?” asked I. “Hmm, nothing, I…I didn’t obey my dad’s words and he…” said Yang Dong-Yu. “ Never mind, let’s go swimming now, don’t worry, okay?” A silence ran across every one of us but soon we were playing joyously in water.
At dusk, we headed home and passed by Yang Dong-Yu’s house first. As we were at the entrance where banyan trees stood, Yang Dong-Yu’s father was waiting with a thick rattan stick in hand. The blood-shot eyes and an impatience look showed his cranky temper was at the boiling point. We were scared and flinched. The next day, I didn’t see Yang Dong-Yu at school, so I went to the teacher and told him what we saw yesterday. Our teacher got very worried and decided to pay a visit to Yang Dong Yu’s family in the evening. “Can I come too? I live only two doors away?” asked I. “Sure thing, you come with teacher at 6 o’clock before the dinner time, okay?” said the teacher.
“What did you say? That dead rabbit did not go to school today?” said angrily Yang Yu-Fong. The air in the house was full of rice wine; and a dozen of empty bottles scattered in the living room. I could hear Yang Hui-Ching and Yang Hui-Ming whispering in another room but soon fell into dead silence. “I gave him 20 dollars to buy me breakfast in the morning and afterwards he was off for school…” said Yang Yu-Fong. Now this got all of us very concerned. Where could he go? Did he get hurt yesterday? Did he run away?
In darkness hides
A ferocious wolf
Dialogue
Pierces through
The wall of memory
Leaving a scar
Of the haunting past
Elementary school life was full of adventures because every Wednesday afternoon we didn’t have school at all. After finishing homework, Yang Dong-Yu and I would ‘summoned’ other buddies to embark upon the forbidden forest nearby, a place we called “Hunting Woods”.
The early autumn in the southern part of Formosa was still very warm. Along the “Monkey River” stood an array of farm houses. Almost each one of them was surrounded by two or three ponds in which many fish were fighting to get fresh air on the hot days. Reeds were everywhere on the small trek winding through the “Hunting Woods”. We loved to explore the unknown territory and build fire to grill sweet potatoes. Sometimes we were lucky to find watermelons in the open field and delicious wild berries in the bushes. The most exciting part would be water fight in the natural swimming pond formed after typhoons.
“Tell us what you used to do in Ping-Tung, Yang Dong-Yu!” said Lin Yi-Yi. “Oh, the usual things, playing baseball, going swimming, jumping rope and playing ping-pong, but I have never played like this in the woods, so this is really fun!” replied Yang Dong-Yu. As we were about to jump into the pond and catch some tadpoles, Lin Yi-Yi shouted “Ahhh, what is that on your back?” pointing at Yang Dong-Yu as he took off his T-shirt. “You look like a backbeater in the yearly Taoist parade! What happened?” asked I. “Hmm, nothing, I…I didn’t obey my dad’s words and he…” said Yang Dong-Yu. “ Never mind, let’s go swimming now, don’t worry, okay?” A silence ran across every one of us but soon we were playing joyously in water.
At dusk, we headed home and passed by Yang Dong-Yu’s house first. As we were at the entrance where banyan trees stood, Yang Dong-Yu’s father was waiting with a thick rattan stick in hand. The blood-shot eyes and an impatience look showed his cranky temper was at the boiling point. We were scared and flinched. The next day, I didn’t see Yang Dong-Yu at school, so I went to the teacher and told him what we saw yesterday. Our teacher got very worried and decided to pay a visit to Yang Dong Yu’s family in the evening. “Can I come too? I live only two doors away?” asked I. “Sure thing, you come with teacher at 6 o’clock before the dinner time, okay?” said the teacher.
“What did you say? That dead rabbit did not go to school today?” said angrily Yang Yu-Fong. The air in the house was full of rice wine; and a dozen of empty bottles scattered in the living room. I could hear Yang Hui-Ching and Yang Hui-Ming whispering in another room but soon fell into dead silence. “I gave him 20 dollars to buy me breakfast in the morning and afterwards he was off for school…” said Yang Yu-Fong. Now this got all of us very concerned. Where could he go? Did he get hurt yesterday? Did he run away?
Monday, March 03, 2008
Chapter 2
I have no magic
Turning wine into water
I am no saint
Being able to forgive
Every pain you made
Vulnerability
I did have
But it never prevailed
School outing was always something we were eager to have. I remember being unable to sleep the night before the big day, tossing over and over in bed, thinking about what we were going to see, the snacks I bought, and of course the box lunch! Yes, it was important to have a good box lunch full of vegetables, meat (chicken or pork), and a hard boiled egg. Speaking of the eggs, mom would always boil them first and take off the shells and soak in soy sauce with anise and other spices, simmering for hours. It was out of the world!
It was a sunny morning in the early autumn. I woke up and got dressed immediately, rushing to do my toiletry routine, then shouldering my backpack, and running to Dong-Yu’s house. “ Yang Dong-Yu! Are you ready to go?” shouted breathlessly as I arrived at their home. “ Hush! My father is still sleeping. Let’s go! My sisters have taken off already” said Dong-Yu.
On the way to school, I saw people were lining up at the one and only grocery shop in our neighbourhood, buying breakfast pickles. I kept swallowing saliva in thinking of those delicious dishes. Then we ran into a classmate whose mother always prepared him a lot of stuff for outings. And certainly the whole class became beneficiaries. That day we rode a bus to a ranch and then hiked all the way to Mount Peace. Teacher led us to play some games in groups. All I thought was when we were going to eat lunch. By noon, we were hungry and sweating like a dog although it was autumn, but an “autumn tiger” (Indian summer).
“Hey, Huang Chih-Hao, Yang Dong-Yu, do you guys want to join us under that tree for lunch?” asked Lin Yi-Yi, pointing at the verdant tree right next to a stream. “Sure! We’d love to!” replied I and Dong-Yu unanimously. As we started to ‘attack’ our sack of food, I saw Yang Dong-Yu pulling out something wrapped in newspapers. He unfolded layers and layers of papers and said “Do you know what this is?” “What ?” said the rest four of us. “ Hehe, it’s frozen juice! I wrapped it in the old newspapers; and look it is now still icy cold!” I reached out my right hand and touched the can, saying “Wow, it is really cold. So nice to have that on this warm day! You are so smart!” “My mom taught us this when we were in Ping-Tung. I was only five years old but I still remember this trick,” said proudly Dong-Yu.
As usual, we liked to compare what we had in our box lunch. “See my mom cooked me the best chicken leg and fried noodles!” Lin Yi-Yi said with a jolly tone. “Yeah, mine was dumplings and pickles” said another classmate. “What do you have, Yang Dong-Yu?” asked I. He was hesitant for a second and then gladly replied, “A Japanese flag! Plain white rice with a red candied plum! Isn’t it pretty?” “Oh my goodness! Why you don’t have anything else?” asked Lin Yi-Yi. Yang Dong-Yu answered that his father only gave him and his sisters each five dollars for shopping. We all sighed unbelievably.
That day in my life I first realized the difference between my friend’s world and mine. That day I asked many questions regarding Yang Dong-Yu’s family. That day he told me he wish he could turn wine into water so his father would not be drunk the whole day and get mad at him and his sisters and whip them with the leather belt. That day was also the first time I wept for a friend and I saw tears welled up in his eyes too…
Turning wine into water
I am no saint
Being able to forgive
Every pain you made
Vulnerability
I did have
But it never prevailed
School outing was always something we were eager to have. I remember being unable to sleep the night before the big day, tossing over and over in bed, thinking about what we were going to see, the snacks I bought, and of course the box lunch! Yes, it was important to have a good box lunch full of vegetables, meat (chicken or pork), and a hard boiled egg. Speaking of the eggs, mom would always boil them first and take off the shells and soak in soy sauce with anise and other spices, simmering for hours. It was out of the world!
It was a sunny morning in the early autumn. I woke up and got dressed immediately, rushing to do my toiletry routine, then shouldering my backpack, and running to Dong-Yu’s house. “ Yang Dong-Yu! Are you ready to go?” shouted breathlessly as I arrived at their home. “ Hush! My father is still sleeping. Let’s go! My sisters have taken off already” said Dong-Yu.
On the way to school, I saw people were lining up at the one and only grocery shop in our neighbourhood, buying breakfast pickles. I kept swallowing saliva in thinking of those delicious dishes. Then we ran into a classmate whose mother always prepared him a lot of stuff for outings. And certainly the whole class became beneficiaries. That day we rode a bus to a ranch and then hiked all the way to Mount Peace. Teacher led us to play some games in groups. All I thought was when we were going to eat lunch. By noon, we were hungry and sweating like a dog although it was autumn, but an “autumn tiger” (Indian summer).
“Hey, Huang Chih-Hao, Yang Dong-Yu, do you guys want to join us under that tree for lunch?” asked Lin Yi-Yi, pointing at the verdant tree right next to a stream. “Sure! We’d love to!” replied I and Dong-Yu unanimously. As we started to ‘attack’ our sack of food, I saw Yang Dong-Yu pulling out something wrapped in newspapers. He unfolded layers and layers of papers and said “Do you know what this is?” “What ?” said the rest four of us. “ Hehe, it’s frozen juice! I wrapped it in the old newspapers; and look it is now still icy cold!” I reached out my right hand and touched the can, saying “Wow, it is really cold. So nice to have that on this warm day! You are so smart!” “My mom taught us this when we were in Ping-Tung. I was only five years old but I still remember this trick,” said proudly Dong-Yu.
As usual, we liked to compare what we had in our box lunch. “See my mom cooked me the best chicken leg and fried noodles!” Lin Yi-Yi said with a jolly tone. “Yeah, mine was dumplings and pickles” said another classmate. “What do you have, Yang Dong-Yu?” asked I. He was hesitant for a second and then gladly replied, “A Japanese flag! Plain white rice with a red candied plum! Isn’t it pretty?” “Oh my goodness! Why you don’t have anything else?” asked Lin Yi-Yi. Yang Dong-Yu answered that his father only gave him and his sisters each five dollars for shopping. We all sighed unbelievably.
That day in my life I first realized the difference between my friend’s world and mine. That day I asked many questions regarding Yang Dong-Yu’s family. That day he told me he wish he could turn wine into water so his father would not be drunk the whole day and get mad at him and his sisters and whip them with the leather belt. That day was also the first time I wept for a friend and I saw tears welled up in his eyes too…
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