Scrimp and Save

“When I was your age, I was already married…”
“So? Time is different now…”
“When I was your age, I had three kids…”
“Did you enjoy that?”
“When I was your age, I had my own house…”
“Does that mean you’re more successful?”

Chinese parents always try their best to offer children opportunities in education in hopes their children will get top-notch jobs or become what is perceived a great achievement in mainstream society. Many scrimp and save to send their kids to learn all sorts of talents after regular school hours. Yet, is that really necessary? Do children have an enjoyable childhood here?

I know parents should provide a resourceful environment to children in order to develop better neuronal connections and further obtain more skills for the future. But I also think a happy childhood is essential in terms of wholesome development of cognition and personality.

We have long noticed the influence of psychology on an individual in the process of establishing a healthy life, be physically or mentally. Positive criticism brings more significant outcome in assisting teenagers in their multi-layered life. I hope younger generation will learn from their own experience, which apparently shows the older generation’s way of raising kids is not suitable anymore.

Why are we afraid that our children have off-the-normal-track thoughts? Why can’t we let children ask any questions they want and guide them to search the best answers themselves? What’s wrong dreaming of becoming an artist? Why should only doctor, scientist, and businessman count as great professions?

Many years ago, I was asked by an elderly in my family that how much I got paid for teaching English. I said five hundred. Then this elderly quickly calculated and told me I would never get rich if I just wanted to be a teacher. I was still young and didn’t know how to defend myself, especially when facing elderly people like that in the family. But I recall I told myself: So, what? My passion is my job and I enjoy every minute and keep learning new things… I might not be as rich as you are, a billionaire, I still have my goals and I know life isn’t just about money and fame.

In addition, who doesn’t have teachers? No one can learn everything by himself. Without teachers’ teaching and stimulation and many others’ contribution to our present knowledge of world, who do you think you can really become? I wish I had some people who could’ve guided me to discovery my passionate pursuits earlier. Then I wouldn’t have spent so many years switching courses of careers. I know it’s not too late to give my all for the childhood dream; yet time will never come back again…

Scrimp and Save as did my parents for every one of us in the family. I will never forget that gracious offering and blessing. Tonight I find my reticent self in the rain picturing the night I had to wade through the river to get spring water for my grandmother’s funeral. I was so little and didn’t understand why I had to stay up so late and walk with my father in the rain. I didn’t realize grandmother’s suicide was the end of the spell on my mother and the beginning of my nostalgia from the old house I used to live for many years…And when the midnight falls, I sometimes find my mask peeling off bit by bit, revealing a childlike face…